Mindfully Frustrated

Sitting in the waiting room of the eye doctor’s office, I notice my irritation rising.

I had scheduled my follow-up appointment as early in the morning as possible, knowing that unexpected situations can arise that cause doctors to run behind schedule. I couldn’t get the first appointment of the day, but I felt comfortable booking the third. Surely, delays would be minimal.

As my scheduled appointment time came and went, I noticed I had not been called.

Fifteen minutes past my scheduled time, I was slightly annoyed.
How do they get behind when only two appointments were ahead of me?

Taking a deep breath, I checked in with myself.
Why was I becoming so irritated?
What would need to shift if I wasn’t out on time?

I distracted myself by playing Toon Blast on my phone.
Because apparently, my nervous system regulation practice needed backup from cartoon penguins.

So — mindfully — what was I going to do about it?

1. I gave myself a mental deadline. If they didn’t call me within a certain window, I would leave and find a new eye doctor. Although I’d been coming to this practice for 15 years,  I was sure there were other capable eye doctors in the area.

By setting parameters I could control, I no longer felt so helpless in the situation. They might be running late — but I could decide how late was acceptable for me.

2. I reflected on what about this situation was creating such a strong emotional reaction.

I realized that what was most activating for me was the experience of feeling that my time wasn’t being respected — and at this point in my life, that matters to me.

They weren’t causing me harm.
But I was experiencing emotional stress.

And I don’t have to stay in situations — even seemingly small ones — that create unnecessary stress.

3. I decided I would let the practice know — calmly and respectfully — why they might lose me as a patient.

Would they care?
Would it make a difference?
I didn’t know.

But I did know it was fair to communicate.

One minute before my self-imposed deadline — yes, one minute before — my name was called.

As we walked back to the exam room, the tech asked the routine question:

“How are you this morning?”

My reply wasn’t what she expected.

“I’m frustrated,” I said. “How do you get 45 minutes behind when I’m your third patient of the day?”

She stammered something about the prior patient wanting to talk a lot.

She was taken aback.
Maybe because I said something they don’t often hear.
Maybe because I said it calmly.
Maybe for some other reason entirely.

But the point of this story is simple:

Frustration and irritation are part of being human. Ignoring them doesn’t make you mindful—it just makes you a pressure cooker.

While we can’t always control when those feelings show up, we can choose how we work with them.

For me, that looked like:

💡 Noticing what I could and couldn’t control. And acknowledging there is no benefit to getting wound up about things outside our control

💡 Exploring what was underneath the irritation. By reflecting on and recognizing the source of my feelings, I was able to address the situation and own my part in it. Not to judge it as how I  “should” or “shouldn’t” feel, but to acknowledge what is happening within.

💡 Choosing a response instead of reacting on autopilot

Being mindfully successful means acting with awareness, noticing what you are and are not doing, and understanding the impact on yourself, others, and the organizations you serve without becoming overwhelmed by what’s happening around you.

That day, I was mindfully frustrated.

And also, Mindfully Successful.